Dilemma - Fat vs Fun

My typing is atrocious. I spend a larger percentage of my writing time editing all the spelling errors and cutting down my typing diarrhoea than actually composing my words of wisdom (or lack of wisdom). I wish they could invent a decent piece of voice recognition typing software so I could just rant into a microphone and let the computer do all the typing and editing. Creativity is my interest, not editing.
That aside, here is my current dilemma.

I should be doing my weekly Thursday afternoon household chores, which involve dusting, polishing and hooverign the entire house, which seems to become strewn with loose bits of toilet paper and tissues and layers of thick, grey dust as soon as i put the trusty Miele Vacuum cleaner away. Point of interest. Fluffy Dusters, either the fancy one by Pledge or the cheap imitation from Tesco (not as good as the Pledge one) are a godsend when it comes to dusting. They save time and make the prison like chore more bearable. Anyway instead of being the househusband I am blogging and twittering away my afternoon as I bathe in the cyber rays of my LCD PC monitor. That, however, is nto my dilemma.

My dilemma is that I have no money anymore, even less than yesterday, when I had no money, and I will have even less tomorrow. One way to save money is to end my subscription to the local Gym as part of a ruthless cost cutting exercise. I would have no problem for this were it not for the fact that I still need to lose more weight and then tone up my flabby 30 something body. The camera is still projecting me as a burly, tubby fat man, even after 3 months of Weight Watchers. I noticed this when editing the photos from my recent trip to the British Museum.

I hate the gym, OK maybe hate is too strong a word, but I certainly do not enjoy going there and it is only for lack of other more enjoyable ways to exercise or tone up that I even joined the gym. I prefer running on a treadmill listening to Keith Moon thundering on his drum kit in the middle of Who Are You, than playing any form of team sports (I don’t do sports), but I would rather save the monthly fee and spend my time walking in Kew Gardens admiring their Japanese landscape (see the picture below).



Gently strolling along the exotic flora of the Royal Botanic Gardens does not firm up your Pecs though. I either need to win the lottery and buy a Chest Press machine, which I have no objection to using on a daily basis, or invent some way of exercising whilst on the internet at the same time. You see I get very bored at the gym. I lack the motivation, and the time, to go regularly. I now lack the funds.
My dilemma is that if I cull my gym membership i may start noticing that the recently toned up muscles in my upper legs are turning back into layers of cellulite. That would not be good. When I do get a job, and in this market who knows when that will be, I won’t have any time or motivation for gym visits. Until then, however, I really should be using this time to get my body into shape. Yet until I get a job I can’t justify the monthly Gym Fee.
What am I to do?

I think I will just Twitter my problems away in an exercise of denial, distraction and avoiding the problem. I won’t even dare to look at the sorry state of my dumbbells.